


What a Pisshole

by StyxThanatos



Series: Somebody's Me [1]
Category: Mass Effect
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-29
Updated: 2016-03-29
Packaged: 2018-05-29 23:07:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,468
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6397690
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StyxThanatos/pseuds/StyxThanatos
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Garrus ends up on Omega, leads up to Shepard's return</p>
            </blockquote>





	What a Pisshole

He didn’t really know how he had ended up here; the six months were a fog with random moments of pain surfacing occasionally. Garrus walked through Omega feeling bereft, his surroundings matching his mind-set, her face kept flashing up in his mind. That smile, the one that seemed to be reserved just for him. Spirits, how could she be gone? His hand clenched around the bag of take out he was bringing back to his quarters, uncapped talons tearing holes. The message telling him had actually come from Kaidan, though how he pulled himself together long enough to make sure Garrus was informed, he couldn’t fathom. They both had loved her immeasurably; both felt the loss as a piece was torn from their souls. Garrus missed her so much, why did she have to leave him, especially when he needed her the most. If turians could actually weep he would have had tears streaming down his face.  He didn’t quite understand the visceral reaction he was having to her demise. He’d never really felt loss this way before; like there was a piece missing from his heart.

Garrus unlocked his door and stepped inside with a heartbroken sigh. How could he breathe without her, each day seemed progressively harder than the last. He held onto her last words, as mundane as they were, before the Normandy was sent out on another mission, “Garrus, get the approval from the Hierarchy to become a permanent member of the crew and you’ll be on the next run, the Alliance has already given the go ahead,” The smile he remembered so fondly full out on her face. He didn’t understand how her death hit him so hard, it’s not like they were in a relationship, not that he hadn’t thought of it. In fact it had almost become an obsession while they chased down Saren. Kaidan had kept her attention though. He hadn’t wanted to muck up a burgeoning friendship so he kept silent. Shepard was a rare person, very turian in her ways. Full of fire and honor. She didn’t pull her punches; you knew where you stood in almost any situation. Unless you didn’t ask, he thought wryly, grimacing to himself, coward. Perfect for a mate, he just didn’t know if she would have even considered him, he never got the chance to ask. If he had told anyone what he felt for her, a human, he would have been ridiculed, derided, turians didn’t mate with humans. Not that the Hierarchy would have forbidden any such union, they were, after all, trying for better relations between the two species. He sighed again pulling himself back to the present, locking away the could have beens and began the methodical task of putting sustenance into his body. He pulled out a bottle of brandy after eating and took a large drink, enjoying the burn as he swallowed. It wouldn’t take the pain away, but it would dull it after a fashion. ¾ of the bottle later he stumbled to his bed hoping for a dreamless sleep. He wasn’t granted that reprieve, her face haunted his dreams. Words she had never spoken passing her lips, taunting him. Her body naked and writhing beneath him in ecstasy; Garrus whimpered in his sleep, tortured with his wanting.

_**Six months later....** _

Garrus didn’t know when the universe started to matter once more. His affront at injustice had been the first to come back. The wrongs that were perpetrated on the people of Omega had become too much to ignore. The poor of Omega had begun calling him Archangel in reference to some Earth religion; he still had no idea what it meant, nor did he really care. The days blurred together, each a test of survival. He began hunting the detritus of Omega; the ones that preyed on the weak. Took out red sand dealers, slavers and the occasional merc that had crossed the line Shepard had shown him while hunting Saren. He still wanted her back so he could say all the things he should have. How much he had grown to love her. How he felt whole when she was near. How he still saw her face even though she wasn’t around; heard her speak in his mind. Even though he knew she wasn’t coming back, he wondered if he would ever be half the turian she had wanted him to be. It tore him to pieces every time he thought about all of it.

Slowly like minded individuals sought him out to assist him with his campaign. Sidonis was the first. He started hanging around and just wouldn’t leave no matter what Garrus said. He kept turning up during missions until Garrus finally started including him in the planning to keep him from getting killed. Over time more joined the cause, or whatever it was, until he had a group of twelve. A group he was the leader of against everything he wanted.

_**One year later...** _

Everyone that had followed him against the mess that was Omega lay lifeless, the mercenaries were closing in and Garrus just didn’t care anymore if he died. The last two years he had felt like a shell of who he once was. He hadn’t felt really alive in ages; no matter what he did she wasn’t coming back. Nothing he had done had replaced what he had lost. He figured he would keep shooting what they threw at him until the last bullet and then not give them the satisfaction of being the ones to end his life. His pistol was sitting next to his position with a final bullet chambered and ready. It won’t be long now, he thought, putting a talon on the gun with a grimace.

He was so tired; the mercs had been at him for days. He’d been seeing Shepard’s face and hearing her voice in his mind for the last day, like a spirit coming to take him home. She kept telling him to hold out just a bit longer, wait for the right moment, to take out the leaders. He just hoped that with this final act he would be the turian she wanted him to be. He felt torn, in misery wondering if she would really be waiting for him.

All of a sudden he heard another squad approaching, damn they were determined. Garrus knew he’d gotten their attention when he started cleaning up Omega; guess they didn’t like having someone checking their tyranny he thought deprecatingly. He pulled up his sniper rifle and stared down the scope. One of the many disposable recruits they had been sending out caught his eye. This one moved like they had seen actual combat and knew what they were doing. There was something about the way they moved that seemed familiar. He pulled his targeting VI up to get a closer view. Very familiar, he thought, but who could it be? The armor had a decal on it that jogged a memory in the back of his mind.

Cerberus. Shit.  His mandibles flared out in surprise.

The merc groups must really be getting desperate.

Why would someone that worked for them be familiar? The only time he had come across the rabidly human centric organization was when he shipped with Shepard. Shepard? His exhausted brain caught up with what he was seeing across the bridge.

No fucking way, the style of combat, the movement all pointed to her, but she was dead. He had to be hallucinating from fatigue.

Suddenly the armored person he was focused on pulled a pistol from seemingly out of nowhere and began shooting the other mercenaries as they tried to get into a good position to attack him. She had two others with her that had the same idea. He exhaled, calmed himself and took out a merc that was trying to sneak behind the unknown individuals that were suddenly helping. And just to make it look like he didn’t notice what was happening he took a shot at the obvious leader’s shoulder, making sure that it wouldn’t do any permanent damage. He wanted them to get close enough for him to find out who this mystery person was.

He kept the unknown in scope as they made their way through the remaining mercenaries, leaving no wounded behind to take revenge. Picking off the occasional straggler, Garrus watched their six as he always did. His battle fatigued mind falling into the familiar pattern. When the trio got too close to follow with his gun he pulled it down between his legs and waited.  He waited to see if it was really Shepard, if she had somehow cheated death or if he had finally passed into the world of spirits.

A tiny glimmer of hope sparked in his chest.

**Author's Note:**

> This was just hammering to get out of my head. I would love input, it feels like it could use some reworking. As with my other stories, I will take whatever critiques, comments, kudos you guys have.


End file.
